What's my identity?...(at school)

"I'm confused"...(i was told), nd i can't agree more lol. I'm feelin confused RITE now. I never know what im doing, which is quite true. Too many ppl have told me the same thing. I've told myself the same thing! i find it realli obvious...but i wasn't sure if other ppl would pick it up. I take it often as a joke, when ppl say tht...but i no there's some (actually, a lot, or 100%) truth behind it.

Here's the main point of this post:

Personally, I've thought about it. If ppl really have tht impression of me, how does it affect the way ppl see me, as a christian. Cause EVERYONE knows I'm christian. Is it bout time i Step-things-up?? But I'm already doing what i CAN do. Honestly I've always had the thought that I might be a bad witness fr God. I'm not doing good in academics. I'm clearly clueless half the time (nd the sad part is, ppl think im pretending, nd tryina catch attention or sumthin...which is even worse, cuse they think tht's even MORe stupid). Soo, wut can i do? get rid of the stupidness? I no this sounds kinda dry, but tht's how im like...tht's who i am. I clearly am working on it. I've always kept the thought...of how the way ppl look at me, can affect my identity as a christian. I don't want ppl to be goin like..."I don't wanna be as stupid as this kid, if tht's wut happens when u become a christian". Like my overall presentation, i always thought was vital to my identity. Even though it's not a really BAD one (as in dirty & sinful) but, ppl will look at you, and judge you, by what they know you best by. In my case, i personally think it's my christian identity. I gotta polish it up a bit. Tht's partially where the pressure comes from. Not tryina imply anything, but "most" christians...at skool are MAD smart, like they're already a good witness to everyone already. If they asked ppl to come to Christ, i think it would be a lot easier. Cuse it seems like there are clearly benefits in doing so. As opposed to me asking...not so much. Sometimes i ponder...if tht's why.

(srry, for the overload/over-analysis of the situation, It's not a big deal, i jus made it one. Well, in this blog.)





need motivation...lack interest...and HAFTA focus. I do things a lot better & efficient when i like doing it, and nothing can distract me from it. But it's also the extreme opposite if i don't.

3 tests/quiz on Fri.