Follow...What?

So I don't even know why, but this video just kinda hit me...right there... (lol it's just someone's V-log):

http://www.youtube.com/user/ardenBcho#p/c/CE2AB52492096F65/1/ynS1Nnojy2I

Follow what you want? Follow what you enjoy? Follow what your parents want? Follow what's stable? These questions....all the time...questions, questions, questions...think, struggle, think, struggle, think some more, struggle some more...

How bout this...what do YOU want God??? What do YOU have planned for me? Isn't that the easiest solution to turn to? It can't go wrong there...but really, what would you have me do Lord...I need you to speak to me, let me know, tell me something.

Although, I personally don't want something I'm not going to put my heart in, and be 'miserable' while doing it, and not fully enjoying it, but if it's what You will God. I mean, I would LOVE to put my whole heart in EVERYTHING I do. Because I am doing it to glorify You. And I especially want to put my whole heart in to my main future career path (because I'll be spending most of my time and my life on it). As long as Your will, is my will...that would be the best.

So...(This summer)

So, it turns out...I may not be taking summer school anymore...bummer...I'm going to miss being in Oshawa.

I may be travelling to Calgary instead, and working there, in a science camp for children...

I am unsure how those arrangements will work. Anyways, peace out, and more later.

Giving in/up, is Easy.

Giving into this world is easy...giving into the pleasures and materials on this earth is peezy (in other words, easy)

The challenge (and the struggle), is NOT conforming to that pattern.

...How hard is it to give in to the flesh?...when you think of "giving up", how does that make you feel?...when you run a race, and you give up...

that's for a 'soft person' (that's right, in my own terms)...soft resistance to temptation, and standing firmness on who they model. Jesus Christ (as a Christian).

To live like Christ is hard, a challenge, and it's something worth striving for.

Be: different. Being different, is a good thing generally, when we're talking about being different from this world.

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.¹⁴ But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."

Matthew 7:13-14

-----------------------------------------------------------

"...For we do not want to boast about work already done in someone else’s territory. ¹⁷ But, “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.”^{[b] 18} For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends."

2 Corinthians 10:16-18

To God be the glory.

GAP = God Answers Prayers

I wonder why people pray...when they don't think it's going to be answered. a.k.a. when you don't have faith when you pray. When you...don't truly believe that God will answer that prayer.

The power of prayer, is in faith itself. So why do people pray, and not have faith in their prayer. Why even pray? When you pray, you expect it to be answered. God always answers prayers...did you know that? He always does...so why doubt...or why be surprised when the 'unexpected' happens (which supposedly should be expected...). We need to stop being surprised by the works of God, and start living in it, and believing in it as your life depends on it.

Another child Come to Christ

Oh...my...God, you are the Saving. One.

My roomate's Dad accepted Christ. The heaven's must be rejoicing...

Like...

Teach me true love,

teach me true care,

GIVE me Your love.

Like, I've always been struggling through this phase of "loving sincerely", "loving whole-heartedly", "loving selflessly". My love is so fake SO many of the times (I dare say almost all the time). I can never feel like I'm truly caring for someone. I want that...true love...true care...

Isn't kind of...ironic (probably the wrong word)? Cuse I want to want to care. But I don't care.

God is love. Love is God. If you do not know God, then you do not love.

A Community

Over this semester, I've met some wonderful, loving, God-fearing people (may have mentioned or touched on this before), but again, I feel blessed that I met such a community. That I met people who were followers of Christ. And because of that, I found accountability, and God held on to me...not allowing me to drift away...

I, who just came to know these people this semester, and was pretty foreign guy (not from Oshawa), was invited into their homes, for a time fellowship. They were all open to support me, and I feel like they'd be there for me. My worries of being in Oshawa have long faded away. Brothers and sisters in Christ; you need them.

"For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.” Matthew 18:20.

Shoutouts again go to: Kevin, Duncan, Mike Page, Cass, Leygh, Jon M., Emily O, Amberlea, Emily B, Maddie Madison, and EVerybodayy in Campus Cherchee! (which is a lot more I'm missing, but it happens) basically.

Lessons...

I really want to take lessons on how to talk to people some day...

I've realized I've got an over-analyzing, over-sensitive brain, and I think I'd rather be simple-minded to an extent that I'm not able to think about these things...

"BEING DIFFERENT" for the right reasons...

Everyone (almost everyone) innately wants to be different. It just depends how each person expresses it. As humans...there's just a part of us...that does NOT want to be the same as everyone else, you know that part I'm talkin about?

That's why there are people that "stand out" (or try to "stand out" at least). People who...show off. People who make a fool of themselves to be noticed. Why do our comments on facebook hafta be so...DIFFERENT? People who deliberately do something different from everybody else. Being...a christian...is being different from everybody else, different from the world (that IS an example, but besides the point).

I just realized I myself...hate being/doing/acting the same as everyone else. Small example is if all people says a certain few things, then I don't wanna say it. I think I've gone pretty extreme with this tho...to the point where when people ask "How are You, Conan?", I don't want to say "good", or "fine, thanks", or "nothing much", or evennn "tiireddd". Cuse EVERYBODY says it...and my innate desire feels such annoyance to use those words, that make me feel lame. So I usually end up trying to say something else, something from the usual norm that people would say...I try to tell people EXACtly how I'm doing...but it fails a lotta times, because I don't ever exactly remember...how i was doing. And it would be a lot to explain and get out in general. (Hence, sometimes why i have such trouble speaking).

When someone does a certain action first, I hate to follow after (clarification: This only applies, if we have a choice do whatever, like umm...playing guitar JUST because everyone else plays it. It doesn't apply when, the teacher tells us to draw something out, and I totally do something different from what is expected just because another student did the 'expected'.)

Point being tho, I hate doing something expected. I'd much more like to do something unexpected. Everyone (maybe not everyone) rathers to do something unexpected, than expected. Because the 'expected' is lame. There's no deviation from the pattern. You've conformed as part of a...white piece of paper' (i don't know, that was the best i could think of). You are not, say, the black dot of ink that one would notice right away. It's boring. So being different...is a huge aspect of us being humans. It's just how you show your difference. I think every human wants to be defined of who they are, they want to be special, they want to be noticed and NOT blend in. Attention and affection is part of it (that we need). So yea.

But in the end...I just came to a realizing thought while writing this blog...this whole "difference" thing...it's all outward. It's all shown to other men...and women. If there were no others around, i don't think we would be different, or try to be. Not ONLY because there is no one to be different from, but because there's no one watching...so what's the point...there's is none.

............................

So, how do you choose to live your path differently? There are many ways to be...'different'. And you have freewill to choose what you want. But, let's just give it here a look:

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2.

Who do we want to be different for?

--//Another note, whenever you are troubled:
1) Read the Bible.

2) Sleep on it...

It works!

--//I'm very interested in the feeling of "awkward", how is awkwardness produced in us? What is awkwardness. Well obviously, i definitely know how it feels to be awkward, but why does that feeling happen. Why can't we just pass it by, and think nothing of it? Maybe this might be a stupid question, but whatever man. What is the neural/emotion/mechanics/God-given trait..

"If you make things awkward, then it's awkward". Which just shows that things DON't hafta be awkward...unless you MAKE it that way. I...just repeated the quote exactly. Anywayss, so that means there must be a cause in our bodies or whatever for 'awkwardness', what is it?

I often ask about things I struggle with...*cough, not implying anything...

Understanding a problem (that's one thing), Solving the problem (that's another thing)

Now I get how you can see and understand a problem, but not able to solve it. It's possible, as humans to understand stuff on mental levels, but not be able to control it in physical levels. (Lol whatever sense that makes)