Job...wut a guy.

Whenever u guys get the chance...read Job, like the whole book (although i didn't yet).

I've only read the beginning few chapters, nd i must say...Job is one interesting guy. I mean, the whole "experience" through out the book...is just amazing. I always knew what Job was about, but never really took the time to read it. Reading the Bible yourself, is definitely a whole lot different from ppl just telling u about it.

In the book, God makes it so obviouss that Job is being "tested". Like, the way all the events come together...so organized. Didn't seem like a coincidence (well, it wasn't). Felt so unrealistic. Tht God made it purposely seem that way. It was realli "in ur face" kinda thing...God didn't try to hide it. He clearly planned that all out (of course). When I read it, I was like "there's no way tht could ever happen in reality". Cuse...it jus wouldn't. But God causes the unreal to become real...cuse He's God. Well, actually let me clarify, Satan was the one who brought all the torment and suffering on Job. But God was ultimately behind it...He allowed everything. He was also still in control...still working. He had all the power.

Throughout the story, i thought some things were kinda funny (not actually funny..but u no wut i mean):

- When God allowed Job to be tested, He had a lot of other ppl killed in the process (eg. servants, sons/daughters, cattle). How could He allow sumthin like tht to happen just for ONE person to be "tested". Tht's a huge sacrifice. Wut of the other ppl? Do their lives not really matter that much? that they could be used as sacrifice to test one person...which was thought to be worthy?

- It was kinda funny how out of each "unfortunate disaster", ONE servant out of each disaster managed to survive and tell Job about it. There were 4 unfortunate events in a row, and the servants all came at the same time, in an orderly fashion.

Through this book...I really see...tht God's someone who can "Give...then take away".


In this book...it displays Satan's power...and God's mightier power.



Interesting: When does Satan go to heaven?....when he talks to God.

*Sighh, might as well put it up (dun really mind anymore)

Here's how it went:

"This is as far as I rmb…

So one day, I was with Brian…nd suddenly, these "wicked, evil" ppl came…tryina pick a fight. It was so obvious, that they wanted us to get us "pissed off" (felt like it was a test fr some reason, just like how satan tests) to see how much patients and self-control we had. Kinda like causing us to sin, in some way. It was random too…cuse me and Brian were jus eating lunch together, in some unknown place (you never know where u are in a dream), and suddenly these guys come and pick a fight. They did so in a taunting manner. They encouraged us to fight, which would taint our spiritual identity.



It became so unreasonable to a point, that we fought back.

Weapons started to become involved, nd these guys had knives (kitchen knives) in their hands. And me and Brian also…grabbed knives…in defense (don't ask why the only weapons we had, were knives). It wus so freaky. But sometime during the battle…Brian, got stabbed…in the head. ND I just…lost all control. I suddenly became trained to kill. I was no longer myself. I was taken over. There was no such thing as "love" in me anymore. Like I wanted all those ppl to die…cuse of what they did. It became soo bloody; it didn’t seem like me…felt like something took control of me. But it was me…I didn’t think I could become someone like tht…but I did. In real life, i really think i would do tht.

Nd all of a sudden…a voice called to me, and told me to start praying. I wanted to. Just be able to lift everything up to God to deal with. I wouldn’t have to worry about the situation I was in. But as I started my prayer…I couldn’t. I had to continue, defending myself & killing whoever was in my way. I wus afraid that while in my prayer…someone would stab me. I didn’t “believe” that God would take care of everything…so I let the distraction consume me, and I got stabbed anewayz. Nd I woke up.

This showed wut little faith I had in God.

I'm sorry if this was a lil random...but i dreamed wut i dreamed.

I have NOT been watching too many movies…cuse I actually don’t even watch movies at all. Dun have time."

Wus it a dream...

i had a dream...the scariest dream ever.

it's still clear in my head rite now...but i don't realli wanna describe what happened in it.

But tht dream...showed who I truly was. Whenever u wanna test yourself....who u really are...a dream will do.

In reality, if u think ur capable of doing something...u'll find out if u really are, in a dream. Cuse it feels jus the same as reality. Except, u get a second chance (cuse u wake up). You even think, make decisions the same way too.

A dream can be used as a place...to test ur faith into real action.

Sometimes, things u would never imagine that u would do in reality, ends up happening in the form of a dream; Which reflects reality. Cuse if ur capable of doing somethin like tht in a dream...y wud u not do it in real life?

"u can think u can do something...but when it actually comes, u find out u can't. Tht's the real test."

srry...not too sure if im comfortable with sharing this "Dream". It is kinda...scary.

P.S. if u guys realli want it...I can email it to you LOL. Jus can't post it publicly...

HE came...died....and conquered

Wut kinda person "lives"...to "die"?

Well, Jesus did.

I'd be like...y live at all...if u no ur going to live to suffer, nd u ultimately know what your fate is.

But Jesus had a purpose. His purpose of bein born into the earth...was so he could ultimately die fr ppl like us. Of course He did a lot more other things during His time on earth (miracles, preach, teach, etc.). But He came for one specific purpose. Tht purpose was for us. What tremendous love He has...for unworthy ppl like us. That's why...we worship Him. There must be some way to show that we love Him...although it would never be enough. But His grace will always be enough...for us.

Children of the World...

Whenever i look at all these ppl around me, I jus rmb...God loves all the children of the world. Nd all these ppl here are God's children. You'll definitely look at things a lot more differently.

These children...are in need of God's love. God's grace. God's salvation.

i used to judge all the ppl around me...I used to look at everyone through MY perspective, not too much of God's.

"This world has nothing for me..." (Do i mean tht?)

"This world has nothing for me..." tht's almost impossible fr me...

Sometimes, when i sing tht verse of the song...i don't know if i always mean it. Like whoo can just have tht kinda mindset. Jus leave everything behind...just like tht.

I mean...how can this world be nothing fr me...it's been everything! Everything in this world has made me who I am today! All my earthly treasures reside here...I can't just let go. Honestly, I don't believe anyone would think....tht's an easy thing to do. Of course, We all wanna follow God....but leave all tht earthly stuff behind, i don't think so. But tht's what God calls us to do...leave everything, nd follow Him. Tht's wut Jesus told his disciples to do.

"I will follow YOU..."♫♪

Especially now, the society at the moment...is FULL of earthly distractions and desires. The world takes care of me now...nothing else. It has everything I need.

Fr me, I honestly don't think this world has influenced me THT much, in comparison to a lot of ppl. But it has to, in some extent fr everyone.

i mean...my friends are earthly too aren't they?? but in the end, it's between you and God. Not saying that your friends don't matter...at the moment. Cuse some friends bring you closer to God. But ultimately, ur focus...is on none other than one whom you were created by, and what HE wants you to do.

if i had to let go of my closest friends...just so i could follow God. Tht'd be hard.

I guess that's why it soo hard for rich, wealthy people to follow God. Cuse they have everything!...wut more do they need?? (although i no of some ppl are still not happy, even though they DO have everything). But it's easier for ppl who have nothing...they have nothing to lose.

Btw, i took that verse from "Rescue - Desperation Band"...it's quite a good song.

The Giver....

When I look at it...everything I've ever needed/or even ever wanted...God has given to me, How often do i give back? How often do I thank Him for it. God is worthy of praise 24/7. It's good to live our life with that mindset. A life to glorify. Things can be a lot different depending on the way you look at things...why you do it. Who you do it for...

there are soo many things i ask for...but when i get them, I totally forget who gave it to me.

"I called...You answered..."
"what else can i do...but worship..."

Have You Ever...

Sometimes, i get SO angry...I wanna cry. Has tht ever happened to anyone before. Have u ever turned anger...into sadness. You get soo angry...but you don't want to hurt the other person, so you cry instead (whether it be on the inside, or outside). Not saying I have lately...but tht feeling.

Or Mebbe I'm jus weird.

When I know arguments are going no where...i just leave it tht. Even though I know i could easily talk back, or make a come back...nd everyone just get's all fired up. It's the most unsatisfying feeling ever...but i no it's usually for the better.

But at the same time...if u never completely, fully express urself...no one'll ever know. They'll keep thinking it's ok. So there has to be some kinda balance.

Reminds me...

Iunno if u all rmb Ang Lee...He came to SCAC before lookin for a position as youth pastor? anewayz...He came to my school fellowship today. It was good to have him join us again...

I reheard all the jks stories he told the last time...like his "Workout" story nd how he and his wife got together (i didn't rmb at first, but it camee bac while he kept on talking). He shared his tesimony all over again...I didn't mind hearing it twice.

He really reminded me of...myself. Cuse He used to have a disability and he used to be a special Ed. kid. He had problems speaking...as in he studdered a lot when he talked (remind u of anyone..), and he was extremely shy. Nd i thought...THT's Me! lol. Don't know if u guys ever noticed...or mebbe not, cuse i don't really talk; I stud-der a-lot every time i try to get a point across...it jus never comes out right. He also used to be a trouble-maker...jus like me. LOL (mebbe not so much anymore...but definitely, i was one)

Anewayz, Somethin He really emphasized...wus that, it's EXTREMELY important to watch out for each other at school. As brothers and sisters in Christ, really keep each other accountable...develop that bond & closeness between each other...so we can "lean on each other"...when we're not strong. Cuse i gotta agree, school is the place where you'll probably feel farthest away frm God, cuse you'll find it hard to live a life for God there. Your identity...is really important at school...it's also something easily shaken. Wouldn't it be great...for us "christians" to keep each other on track?

And sumthin else pretty cool was...He went to MY elementary school (Aldergrove)....nd then MY High school (Milliken Mills)...nd mebbe MY uni...jus jking, but he ended going into Ambrose University to become a youth pastor. Nd he lives near MY house (I guess it all fits together). I got to ask him a lot more questions this time....


P.S. Feels like i haven't blogged fr weeks!...even tho it's only been 2 days.

some Short-Term Mission Pics..."the Caribbean"

since some ppl wanted to see them...

Only my dad went on this short-term mission (so im not in this, although i probably wud've been...if i didn't have school. My Dad would've dragged me along...cuse they needed some "musical" ppl there, like pianists/vocals, etc.)

ummm....Pics. from Aruba.

I THANK...

Nothin better than a family devos to start the day=)




"I thank God for...the bright, shining, morning!...to do devos with my parents!"

"I thank God...for comforting me...in my stress."

Oh my...g-ness

0_0....

Tht was some messed up, crazy/insane storm tht hit Markham today. I don't know if it affected anywhere else...but i was...friggin scared. I was like..."so this is how a tornado felt like"...cuse the car was swaying back and forth, even though it was turned off. And i swear, maybe it was an illusion...tht the car started to lift up! 0_0...mann I was really saying my last prayers to God then lol. I prayed tht...wutever happened...I'd look forward to seeing God in heaven LOL.

okk here's the story...after my sat. chinese school, my mom decided to go to Canadian Tire to buy soil or sumthin, so i jus tagged along. On the way there...we were listening to a christian radio station, 99.5, and they were talking about somethin really interesting, tht I always wanted to find out about. So my mom wanted me to listen to it...so i stayed in the car, while she went inside.
This topic was the issue about how pentacostal churches consider speaking tongues as a gift from the Holy Spirit; and who ever could not speak it, was not as "spiritual" or "Holy". If you guys never heard of "speaking in tongue", it's just a Holy language that's given from the Holy Spirit...and the apostles of Jesus had it. I've actually never heard it spoken...but i heard it sounds like gibberish...and no one else can understand, only "holy people" can. It was proven that ppl who "spoke in tongue" weren't actually speaking themselves, because their brain shuts down when they do. So something else had to be the source...of this "holy language". Anewayz...I found it really interesting! nd that's when a sudden, insane storm became my distraction. I stopped listening. Nd started praying...cuse i was friggin scared.

Something else that was funny, was that the whole Canadian Tire store blacked out JUST when my mom was swiping her master card at the cashier....so she ended up not buying anything lol.

The storm built up starting with strong/insane winds, then rain, then lightning....just like one of them horror movie atmospheres. It's a lot more scary in reality...compared to movies. The first time i watched "Twister"...i wus like, tht's nothing. Could out-run tht twister anytime. Not until i experienced this. lol

Anewayz, I think i learned something from this though...always be ready. Anything can happen....i don't even think there was a weather forecast fr tht. Wus there?

addicted to u...

Btw, guys...I'm back. LOL

Blogger is too addicting.

Observations of the nite...

sometimes...the only source of discouragement...comes from myself.

Anewayz, I thought today went quite well. Had some really positive feedback...nd some great discussions going on. And i thought the skit went really well overall too...fr hardly any practicing, just the DRESS REHEARSAL lol.

But i don't think i truly understand yet...

...for sum reason, during discussion, i couldn't really word my questions properly. It was kinda like...I blanked out, nd didn't know what i was talking about any more. And when i don't know wut im talking about...how do i expect anyone else too?? Tht shows...tht I am still self-conscious. Tht I'm not exactly doing it for the right reason. If i were, I wouldn't even have tht kinda thought on my mind. I got distracted...again.

This is sumthin quite personal...im willing to share

I mean...PDP was greatt Nite Overall! I thought everything went really smoothly...when we put every thing in God's hands.

But tht little moment...tht fraction of the whole nite, I lost the whole meaning of it...all of a sudden.

Don't think i would make a good CGL...if i were ever to be one. I could improve on it...but yea, it'll take time...definitely.

All of a sudden...the questions i asked, didn't make sense to me. So it didn't come out exactly the way i wanted it to. once i dwell on a thought...it never comes out rite. I have ideas, that can't ever be expressed. What use is tht?

Sometimes, when i think other ppl are discouraging...i should step back, nd take a look at myself first. Tht's usually the main reason why...

This blogg might be kinda confusing...cuse ur probably seein a lot of "mixed" feelings. But it's just the stuff i thought i could improve on...and the stuff i thought went well on.

I'm still thankful that God put this all together...last minute, as always. nd everyone was so open, nd jus really shared wut wus on their mind. I mean, the comfort level of didomites are definitely...growing=)

Takin out...the 'Holy Bible'

u no wut i did today...I brought my Bible to school...nd read it in CLASS! lol (not too sure if tht was too appropriate...but I DID it). Wus kinda bored myself...nd wanted to prep a bit for PDP, jus to get myself ready....so i turned to the Bible.

it wus a free period, so no one was realli doing anything. It was somewhere between the lines of awkwardness and peace at the same time. Havin soo many ppl starin at me, wondering wut i wus reading (sum ppl thought it was a dictionary...since they asked)

But u no wut...there were ppl who started askin me about it. Ppl actually wanted to find out what the BIBLE was about! They just never really got a chance to get their hands on one and read it! I was actually surprised tht ppl were interested and curious ...wanted to find out what it REALLI was about. They asked questions...I answered...not every one of them of course.

(I'll fill u guys on the details later)

Identity of Dido...

Can't believe someone would do tht....i mean from dido.

I don't get it....I always knew us as the most "welcoming" bunch...i guess not. Dido's not perfect, but i expect it to be a lil different from the "secular" world outside. If we possess this kind of impression...we're not really much of a fellowship are we. Because we're not doing wut a fellowship is suppose to do! Which is the "gathering", the "together-ness" of anyone...and EVERYONE...who wants to learn/praise/and follow God. And how are we suppose to set a good example, a good witness...let's say fr ppl who don't go to church, but are interested...they would see us no different from anyone else. God DOES call us to love our neighbors...and our neighbors can almost be...any one. Esp. from church.

I mean...the feedback/response i got....was kinda surprising...nd somewhat "heart-breaking" to an extent.

I mean...we jus had this talk last Fri. seems like nothing really came out of it.

Well, i think this subject should be discussed again, there's definitely improvement...needed in Dido. I guess i should speak up, although im not a very good "speaker".

A few more lives changed...=)

My dad offered to share his tesimony (lol, u can try read tht...)

今次的阿魯巴短宣, 隊分為二。 一隊負責成人事工及講座。 一隊負責春令營。 感謝神, 在隊需要男導師在兒童及少年在阿魯巴事工時候, 帶領我參與。 春令營事奉岡位包括佈置準備、唱詠、手工、聖經故事、遊戲、攝影助理等等。 其他, 包括參與成人講座後的培談員及討論等。 我也接受邀請，錄音廣播阿魯巴個人見證詞和分享。 神帶領我與基約弟兄姐妹, 短短的時間內, 膽怯和顫抖地, 團結一起同心事奉, 信的不是人智慧, 是依靠聖靈的力量去做好準備, 接受挑戰。我們的使命目標是, 讓神使用我們去改變阿魯巴的兒童、少年和成年人, 知道、 認識、接受神永遠的國度、權柄、榮耀。
兒童少年春令營主題是｢主禱文(Kingdom of the Son - the Lord Prayer)｣。 兒童班年齡6-10歲及少年班年齡11-14歲。他們特別喜歡造甜品、手工、唱詠的時間, 此外少年班更加很喜歡戲劇。 我個人體驗甚多, 簡單地說, 我見證到第一日開始至最後一天的慶祝日, 兒童、少年及成人作出反應投入。我目睹到最後教導聖經故事｢神永遠的國度｣ - 耶穌死在十字架上、復活了、顯出主的國度、權柄、榮耀 - 少年們十分認真傾聽, 我肯定聖靈在工作。 在慶祝日, 少年表演戲劇｢饒恕｣、｢祈禱｣的投入, 我知道種子已萌芽、我們已經改變他們了。
成人事工及講座方面, 因春令營時間衝突, 沒有參與上午和下午的探訪。 我參與晚上10:00pm成人講座後的培談, 講座題目包括｢美滿家庭｣、｢為誰辛苦為誰忙｣、｢和諧共處的秘訣｣。 感謝神, 給我機會兩次解釋福音。 兩位朋友他們只給了我幾分鐘時間, 但我使用士宣五色福音綽綽有餘。 祈望聖靈繼續工作, 阿門!
最後, 阿魯巴短宣事奉時候, 隊員體驗活的力量, 相信後方士宣及基約弟兄姐妹祈禱支持。 回來多倫多，忘了阿魯巴炎熱潮濕的天氣和蚊蟲，但沒忘記，傳了福音種子的兒童、少年、成人朋友。 祈望神不斷更新祝福李牧師及師母。 榮耀回三位一體的真神, 阿門!

And here's a translation...by me! (lol I only summarized the points I understood)

"Thank God for giving me this opportunity to serve in Aruba! The team needed more male teachers in the child & youth programs, and the issue of business crisis lead me to participate in this short-term mission.

My job included: arrangement preparations, to sing & dance, art-work, Bible stories, games, camera man, etc...

I also accepted the responsiblity to record broadcast in Aruba, write a testimony, and to share personally.

God has continued to guide and lead us, along with all the brothers and sisters in Christ. It is not through our wisdom, but through God’s Holy Spirit.

The Goal of this short-term mission: “To use & work through us in order to bring change to the children of Aruba. To give them an understanding of God’s true love and what Jesus had done for them.

I’ve taught the children the importance of “forgiveness” & the power of “prayer”.

This is just the beginning of their spiritual growth, because “seeds are now planted in them”

I used the five-coloured gospel to explain the message of “salvation”.

When I came back to Toronto, I had already forgotten about how hot & humid it was back in Aruba, and the swarming mosquitos; but I will never forget the seeds of the gospel I have planted in each child."

Amen!

P.S. I DID NOT use google tramslation for this! LOL

Btw...I'm BACK...jus kidding. I still won't be tht active anymore. But i jus thought i'd put this testimony up. lol=)

...

things are back to the old nd usual now...the norm. No mre msn...no mre blogging (cept in the morning). At least I'm making productive use of time now...

U won't be seein me much on here anymore lol

Giving in...

I've been trying soo hardd...why do i feel so...forsaken...

I want to live tht life...tht 's pleasing to Him. But, I don't want to be something I'm not. Forcing myself to do stuff im not comfortable with...isn't the way to go. Because, I can't keep it up. At some point, you just feel like giving up...there's no motivation, no reason why you do it anymore. Unless you change.

Change is hard.

I wish it were easy, then there would be no "pretending" or "acting". Cuse it'z you. You're doing it out of your cheerful, giving heart.

I'm in need of some encouragement...

24/7 Praise...

In everything I do, and everywhere I go...there's ALWAYS something to Praise. Just have to find it in our hearts to appreciate the wonders of ur works. Cuse You are...who You are.

Let me live a life...Giving Thanks.

the Bible...did NOT say...

Today, during my 1st period class, we had presentations again...nd this one person did it on Galileo Galilee. We all know now, that the earth is "heliocentric" (things revolve around the sun)...but back then, ppl such as the catholics believed it was "geocentric" (things revolve around the earth)...nd even b4 that...ppl thought the earth was flat. But during the presentation...iunno, the guy kept sayin "the Bible said that the world was geocentric", nd "the Bible says that the earth was flat"...."so Galileo proved the Bible wrong."...which kinda bothered me.
Soo basically, i got tht...no one should believe in the Bible. I might've been a lil sensitive, but He also said tht.. "the ppl who believed in the Bible, killed Galileo..." Mann, tht kinda got me fired upp...cuse it wasn't the first time. I no fr a fact...tht he was strongly against the Bible, tht he always wanted to disprove it, but he didn't hve to do it like tht. I've known him for a while...so yea, he/she does these kinda things a lot. I have nothing against him or anything...but jus ticks me off everytime he tries things like tht. So I had to clarify thingss...
The scientist did NOT disprove the Bible.... He disproved the ppl in the churches! (who were thought to have followed the Bible) lol. Cuse the Bible never everr said anything like that...when God created the earth, He just created it. I guess God didn't find it that important to mention all the detail nd wutnot of his intelligent design. He just said the word...nd it was created. (I didn't exactly say it like that, but tht's wut i was trying to get across...)

I wus a bit offended...although i held myself. Without thinking, he just made that assumption. Cuse he kinda put his own twist of what the Bible says. God wrote the Bible, can't add stuff to it...Iunno, i got a lil worked up about it.

The guy jus assumed that wut the ppl believed in back then...was what came from the Bible. So he decided to replace the "ppl of the churches, back then" with "the Bible" instead. Out of all other words...He had to use "the Bible"...which i thought wasn't too appropriate or accurate...in many aspects...both technically & religiously.

(srry, fr hatin, or if i over-reacted...this is how i felt...at tht moment)

This was a while back...

I just found this randomly LOL....(it'z from my xanga)

"interesting...
As i was going through the book of Genesis today, I found out some interesting facts. Remember how only Noah and his family survived the flood that God had sent to wipe out the sinful world, and technically everyone on this earth are decendants of Noah. Well, Noah also had 3 sons: Shem, Japheth, and Ham. The descendants of this world is divided according to which son you descended from (hope tht made sense).

so yea, did a bit of research, NOT to be racist or anything, but:

Shem (oldest son) = Yellow & Brown people (Asians)

Japheth (middle son) = White caucasian people (Europeans)

Ham (youngest son) = Black people (Africans)

and according to the Bible, Shem (us Asians) was the son who was blessed by Noah; and so was Japheth (the whites), the middle son. But the younger son Ham (blacks) was cursed along with all his other descendants. so yea, jus somethin interesting i came across:)

i no this actually might be a lil offensive and racist to a lotta ppl, if they knew about this. So yea, dun Go around tellin people bout this kinda stuff. Cuse it'z racist!....like i would be offended if i was some other race."



iunno...i found this pretty interesting b4...hope u guys did lol, this blog wus quite random=p

My internet cuts off at 12:45am...

So I hope i finish this blogg in time. I probably will...

When you wanna serve God....u gotta learn to serve others first. Cuse when u serve others...will you then have the heart to serve God. Cuse God wants us to serve others with a humble heart, which in turn also serves Him.

It's good to be humble, to be doing things not only for our selfish ambitions. I myself have a struggle with that. Bein in worship...sometimes, i forget im worshiping. That's when i needa take a step back....nd get myself rite, with God.

I still rmb J.O.Y......last yrs. theme. Quite meaningful.

"Jesus First, Others Second, Yourself Last"

But it didn't make sense, Who doess tht?? Putt others second and urself last...it just wouldn't make sense for one to do that. Because it's always...."Ur safety first", "Ur choice first..." Ppl only do things that benefit themselves first...b4 considering other ppl. "Jesus First", I would understand that...cuse of course, He created us. But no one ever values anyone else before themselves...if u no wut i mean. (btw, these are quotes from my dad a while bac...but i jus decided to bring it up, kinda random)

What I think Dido meant...through the theme of "JOY" wus...to always have a considerate and caring heart for others. Not bein so self-centered. Andd jus realli consider others b4 you. Not to do everything in self-ish manners.


(srry, this wus really rushed, don't think i realli made my point, but I'll finish it sum other time)

Worries...

the presentation i was soo worried fr....finally, i need not wrry bout no more. I'm a person who doesn't like public speaking and presenting in general...although u'll really need it in life. I dun no why i always get so worked up about these things. Like, whenever i'm about to do a presentation, I can NOT sleep the day before. literally, im not able to physically sleep...cuse i dream about it, but it's not one of those dreams tht you have when u sleep. It's the ones that keep u awake! lol. But wutever, it's over now...I prayed about it, nd i asked other ppl to pray fr me. So i think went ookk overall.

Dad's comin back tmr!....1 mre day....it'z kinda funny. Cuse i was counting down to the day my dad wud leave the house. Now, I'm counting down...fr the days he'll be backk. Mann...I miss dad. LOL never ever thought I'd say tht.

But i have feeling...when he does come bac...tht thought mite not last fr long...but fr now, can't wait! lol


PDP iss heree...it'z gonna be this week. Nd I'm not readyy...to be honest. I'm starting to feel some pressure, cuse I had NO time to practice it, and WILL have no time to practice it over the week. Nd this event is really important. It's an outreach, for ppl who don't know much about God yet, or ppl who do, but want to understand the reall meaning of "praise". Skool is the biggest thing...if only there were ppl in tht environment who i could keep accountable with. Keep me on track. I just can't juggle these thingss....I've been really involved lately. I needa remind myself y im doing these things. Cuse when I just try to do everythin at oncee...I just lose the meaning of everything. Cuse all I see it as now...is somethin i gotta complete, somethin that needs to be finished or done. Deadlines that have to be met. Extra burdens i need to take on (a bit exaggerated). Soo...i think i should stopp...take a step back nd think...whyy am i doing this? Whoo is it for?

Lord, Please speak through me to the audience of PDP...cuse it really won't be me talking, cuse i'm not even capable of tht...it'll be all You. So let me be a servant, someone You can use...to tell the world Your message.

"Back in the days when we...were so Young nd Wild nd Free"!!!

I rmb where this one time where my Pastor Uncle was preaching at another church, and I attended service there on that day.

He said:

When you're young, You'd always be looking FORWARD to things. You always want to know what happens in the next step of life.
But when ur old, you start counting BACKWARDS. Like, you'll start thinking...when am I going to die? (Starts happening around middle-age, 40-50 yrs)

As a toddler, u probably wished u could be one of those cool elementary school kids. When u became an elementary skool kid, then you probably wanted to be one of "them" High School Students, cuse they jus look too "ying" with those textbooks in their hands, or ppl doin drugs everywhere lol iunno. And when u become a High School student, u long for the freedom in University. And during the time ur in Uni, You'd want to go out and work...nd to live ur life. basically, the smaller & young always look up to the bigger & old ones...cuse i did.

(I dun rmb me thinking so much lke tht...but im sure this could apply to a lotta other ppl)

After a few years past, nd you start retiring...your whole mind set changes. You'll be thinking, How much longer do I have, to live on this earth? When u sleep, you won't be looking forward to a tomorrow anymore. But counting how many days of ur life is left. You'll be wishing...you were back in the days, when you were so "young and wild and free" (like how i incorporated tht lol).

But the Bible tells us...to LOOK FORWARD....cuse the KINGDOM of heaven is almost near!! Why does it matter when u die....when u know, the place ur going to is gonna be a LOT BETTER anewayz. You should be WANTING to go...not sayin u should want to die or anythin, but God has an even greater place in store for you.

(Btw, not too sure if this applies to everyone, but i found it really true.)

The road "Ahead"...

"The old has gone, and the new has come"

"Forgeting those things that are behind, and reaching forward to those things which are ahead" Phillipians 3:13

I try not to let things in the past affect me too much, or at all; cuse honestly, the more i think about things in the past...the less i focus on what's ahead. And it's also a waste of time to dwell on things in the past. All the things...u WISH u didn't do....well, YOU DID IT lol. Nd it shouldn't matter (well, i guess it still does, but not necessary to think about it), cuse all you're focusing on...is wut's to come, and what you can do to make the most out of it. Other ppl may think differently...but it's you. If u let other ppl affect u...then it's YOU that's letting tht happen.

Soo....look AHEAD....at the bright future God has in store for you!

Live a life...glorifying God.

Back down in Aruba...

I JUST received video clips from Aruba...nd my Dad was dancing with children. I guess He always had it in him LOL. It kinda cracked me up at the same time. But...I've never seen him soo happy....so happy to be servin the Lord. He's never this happy at home lol. It's very apparent how much of his heart...he put into these kids at Aruba, nd in this short-term mission.

Btw, My dad's coming back this Wednesday (it was NOT 2 weeks...didn't even feel like it); mannn...there's gonna be a lot to talk about, a lot to share.

honestly, i haven't realli been too disciplined without my dad around. Sometimes, I think he's the one tht i need, in order to restore "order". I guess God did make my parents fr specific reasons lol.

P.S. if u anyone's wants to see the clips, i can give u the link...

Killin the loneliness...

Mann....I'm drafted (nt sure if tht's rite term)....I feel so lonely rite now. I was just at Brian's house a few minutes ago, and we were just going through songs for PDP. I must say...we had quite a productive practice (we still jammed more, than we actually practiced, but still...). I ended up staying at his house 2 hrs. more than I told my mom. But....my mom was pretty chill's about it, still a bit worried though. Mann...i was having too much fun there, lost track of time. Always soo lonely at homee. Hate staying at home...but i have to. But u no wut was funny, Brian was a bit lonely himself too LOL. We both had nothing to do, soo i's like...y not well sleepover? (btw, for ppl who don't know...i gotta clarify, it's NOT wut u think...wutever u may be thinkin). But i knew tht wasn't possible...especially on a skool week. So...I offered tht he sleepover at My house. SOoo close...to bein able to. If only i didn't have soo much hw. Tht's the only thing my mom held me on. Tht I had a lot of work to do...well, Brian could always HELP me do my wrk. *sigh...now im back home again...Bored. Well, I still have quite a lot to finish, such as my physics presentation.

Oh well, Sunday Service is tmr...gotta wake up for Sunday School. I needa get my sleep.

I used to pray for a brother for the longest time...nd God finally gave me one=)

I guess whenever we're lonely....God's someone we can always talk to. But it takes time...tht's why sometimes when I'm bored, nd have nothing else to do, I read the Bible LOL

Btw, I want a guitar now....

Side: Pray for upcoming PDP night...tht ppl would really come to understand the REAL meaning of "praise"

Moree...

I used to think...that God really wasn't THT smartt...cuse in the Bible, He always seemed kinda clueless, if u no wut i mean?...There are many things that "seems" like He doesn't know about. Or He pretends to not know...

In the Garden of Eden...whenever he took a walk through it, He always had to look for Adam and Eve. As in...Adam and Eve were able to hide...from Him. well...I guess I'm pretty sure HE KNEW...but probably pretended not to. During the time in the garden of eden...the Bible displays his personality, and features...jus like a human being. He took walks, he talked, and he had the emotion to get angry...iunno. lol. Feels like im tryina testt the Bible again...but this stuff jus pops up in my mind u no?? lol

Isn't the future...inevitable? If u changed the future...than it wouldn't exactly be the future...
Before Jesus died, He was in great pain & fear of suffering...I mean, I know he was still a form of a human. But He was son of God...can he not...elimnate pain? lol. But all in all...He took it for us...the pain tht WE should've been feeling.

When Satan tried to tempt Jesus...was that no different from tempting God? Since Jesus = God. Why would he even try that. Plus, he used "earthly" things to tempt Jesus too...nd tht's not something He would treasure as much anewayz.

Why is satan still fighting....He already lost. But why does He gotta go and take down ppl who WANNA follow God. Man, that's their decision...why are we involved in this "battle". Why is he SO satisfied when us christians fall away from God...to break God's heart??...tht all his children are following away from Him? Tht's one thing that the devil has on Him though...the power to break God's heart...to see his own creation fall away from him. But it doesn't symbolize weakness...it symbolizes love...tht we really never deserved. So is God powerfu?l...through tht perspective?...emotionally-wise, cuse He too, like humans, have emotions.

(srry again, for the never-ending, pointless questions)

This is quite longg...

hope he/she doesn't mind me posting this convo (it'z a bit...long, read if u wish lol):

[c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
why does God have to work through us....if in the end, He already knows. If He already knows who will follow Him, and who will not...why bother?

K i understand he wants us to have a free choice...but He alreadi KNOWs wut that choice is! am i rite?....so again, wut's the point.
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
OMG I THINK ABOUT THAT ALLLLLLL THE TIME!!!
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
and apparently, the answer is that your not SUPPOSED to ask that question
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
yeaaa...glad sumone's interested
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
in my blogg lol
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
like its something that humans will never understand or something
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
haha
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
didn't think anyone wud read it...
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
ur opinions are written well =]
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
yeaaa....i write wuts on my mindd..
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
literally
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
like i dun care how i write it...i jus do it
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
wutever goes through my head
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
haha
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
heyyy...i never knew u were...christian?
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
or catholic?
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
or sum other religion...?
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
noo lol im muslim
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
Islammm yo
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
and islam and christianity have ALOT of similarities
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
i believein jesus and his stories
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
and all the other 'saints' and whatnot
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
ohh yeaaa tht's truee
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
yeaa i heardd
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
we both believe in Creationismm
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
so basically the same thingg...lol
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
We believe in the same Godd...
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
haha
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
nd Jesus ofc
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
Btw, how'd u read soo much at oncee...
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
tht post was...a while bac lol
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
yeaa i know
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
mann...im actually glad sumone reads this stuff...
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
cuse i think a lotta ppl could relate to it...
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
the onyl thing thts different between christianity and islam is that theres dfferent holy books. ours has more stories and more 'saints' in it that came after jesus
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
and we still believe in the original bible and stuff
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
and all the other books
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
nd u guys read...the Kuran
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
rite?
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
theres apparently 7 in alothergethre
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
did i say it rite...
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
yeaa...the Bible's all we believe in...
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
yea
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
The OLD and the NEw testament
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
yeaaa
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
lol
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
lol gladd someone shares the same thoughts=)
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
sometimes i go to a church just to sit and think
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
mmhmm
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
yeaaa
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
i dont go to sermons or whatnot
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
yeappp me too...
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
u don't?
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
but just wen its empty. God's still there =P
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
ALWAYS listening! <3! color="#ff0000">† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
u got tht rite....
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
Well...God's not ONLY in there...
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
He's EVERYWHERE lol
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
even here=)
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
in our convo...
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
if tht made sense...
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
yea...but basically, he's omni-present
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
lol yeaaa
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
if u no wut tht means..
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
tht means...HE can be everywhere at once..
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
yea hes everywhere, knows what ur thinking, knows whats in ur heart, is all-knowing
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
mmhmm
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
yeaappp
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
there's 4 "omni"s bout God i rmb:
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
1) All-knowing
2) All-Powerful
3) All-"everywhere"
4) Satan can't hear us in our prayers (don't know if u knew tht)
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
yeaaa...tht's the main points.
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
4) REALLY?!
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
mmhmmm
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
i learnt thtt...
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
in Sunday School
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
at church
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
omg tht just gave me like goosebumps
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
the good goosebumps *
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
but tht's just cooll...
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
Everything between us...and GOd
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
stays between us nd God
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
Satan can't interfere...lol
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
Satan has a lotta power too...
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
wow thts awesome!
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
but obviously...not enough
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
fr God
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
lol satan sux compared to god
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
=P
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
lol ofcc...it'z a given
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
haha
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
Satan has his own army too...
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
but as God's children...
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
He won't let a thing happen...
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
it's only if WE let it happen...nd choose not to follow God lol
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
nd temptations..yeaaa
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
do u believe in like spirits and stuff?
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
lol i feel like a sundayb skool teacher rite..
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
like we call them 'jins' iunno what u call em
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
ummm yeaa there are spirits...believe it or not
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
ummm yea
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
yea i believe it =D
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
what do u call em?
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
isn't the "holy spirit" a spirit...
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
their not spirits of humans
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
ohhh
.
.
.
.
.
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
btw...good talkin with u! lol
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
never got to talk like this b4...
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
samee! : )
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
lol really?
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
nd find out mre about ISlamic
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
why not?
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
views
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
well...i do sometimes, but not much...like this
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
with ppl from skool
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
...with differerent religions...sorta
† Conan Yu - lolz...<http://nanoyuuuu.blogspot.com/> says:
haha
- [c=6] ◊ §umbul ''๏̯͡๏) [/c] ... - says:
ohhh

jus a lil sumthin....i thought i'd share...nothin much realli...it was an interesting convo.

(...got too lazy to color code every one)

Here is the love....

All ppl really want....is to be loved. Who wouldn't wanna be loved?

so it feels great when ppl tell you that they love you...or GOD loves You. Actions speak also...they can be just as, or even more effective than words. But just rmb...when u receive that love....u gotta give it BACK too. It's not all about receiving...it's about giving. No one receives without somebody giving in the first place. So i thought...it's always good to have a "giving" heart...I wus gonna say sumthin else...i forgot...k i rmb now, yea, it's just like in Dido, it's good to give back to the fellowship what you received all these years...


I thank God...for makin my mom...who makes delicious food for me every day=)

I thank God...for makin my dad...who watches me intently, makin sure i don't lead astray=)

What Else Can I Do - Steve Fee ♫♪

What else can I do but worship
What else can I do but bow'
Cause all I really long for is You
And all I really yearn for is You

Oh mann....PDP is comin up....it'z gonna take some commitment. Cuse we're already short on time..

This nite is going to be focused around the meaning of 'Praise'...hopefully, this'll be an effective way to get the message across.

Life...Identity....at Skool

So I’ve been nicknamed now….ppl at skool call me “blogger dude” (Just cuse I do most of my blogging at lunch time….cuse I can’t do it at home lol.) , or "God Boy" (not cuse I talk about God a lot...but whenever the subject comes up, im always one to defend it...nd i usually like discussing/debating about it, every body's thoughts are always soo interesting)... i don't mind TOO much...when they call me tht once in a while, but if it basically becomes my name, i find it kinda....overly unecessary? They come up with some lame names too...no offense lol.

When I go to my school or church fellowship, they call it the "Chinese Church Club" (for the last time, it's not a club limited to chinese ppl!! God loves all the children of the world! It doesn't matter if we're red, yellow, black, & white; we're all precious in his sight! ), or the "God Club". Like the way ppl look at fellowship...it'z jus another one of those "clubs" nd "gatherings" that we need to go to. But to me...I always thought it was much more. I don't really like to treat a fellowship...jus like any other club. I'm actually really glad we have a school fellowship...it's somewhat a reminder fr me, and gives me sumthin to think about everytime.

I've been tryina invite more ppl to come to True2christ (skool fellowship), but many of them get intimidated by all us chinese ppl. When He's the only brown person in the room. actuallyy...our Youth PAstor's brown lol i think...so it's not such a big deal. The first time I brought him, he goes: "You never told me this was a chinese club!...is there one fr brown ppl.." Cuse most my friends...happen to be brown...or at least the one's i invite, oddly enough.

(hope this blog wasn't too racist, i don't think it is...didn't say anything offensive)

Btw, I'm gonna be sharing a testimony soon fr my skool fellowship...haven't really prepared for it yet. But hopefully, God'll speak through me at that time....since I'm not really much of a speaker, if u guys know me. This'll be my first time ever makin a testimony in front of an audience o_o. Hope I dun studder too much...like i do when I talk LOL.

Why is it soo awkward....?

Everyone’s always sayin…”ohhh, it’s so awkward”, when things don’t work out too well because of sumthin… IT’s awkward cuse u make it awkward! (sounds like I took tht from someone). Although I know it’s still hardd…

But once you look at the relationship you have with the other….Things shouldn’t be awkward when see each other as Brothers and Sisters in Christ. We should be supporting each other spiritually. If anything, talk about spiritual stuff…like how each other’s spiritual walk has been. Why would we be afraid to approach each other…when we’re the same body of Christ. Even in church…this happens a lot. Nd I’m guilty of that.

In fact, we should be seeing everyone as a brother and sis in Christ, as part of God’s family, God’s Children…that way, our approach would definitely be different. Our actions reflect tht….

Whyy Godd...

Some of the things that cause me doubt God at times....are just things that occur in every-day life. The fact that God just lets these sorta things happen...are just...questionable? It starts to create doubts in my faith. Like....whyyy?? why would he even allow things to happen!

I say this cuse recently there's been a lot of "bad/breaking news" that involved christians sinning and giving christianity a bad name sortaa thing. Like it shows a bad example of christian life, and not such good witnessing to Christ.

For example, a Sunday school teacher is charged for killing her daughter in an unbearable, inhumane way. The body was found in a briefcase by the shore. When I watched, I'm like: "How could she...? as a sunday skool teacher, how are others going to see this as...Ur suppose to be a living witness for Christ, wut happened...?" This wus just yesterday I believe....I wus just...shocked (lack of better words)...didn't know wut to think.

there are probably good witnesses too, but more attention is drawn to the badd ones. I just don't seem to pay attention too many of the good living of examples in our belief.

I gotta say...I'm guilty of that sometimes too, of living a bad christian life, and setting a not so Godly example...but i never imagined sumthin tht extreme could happen. I hope...nd I pray...for these ppl. Hopefully, God knows what's happenin...well, of course He does.

Philosophy v.s. Religion

"Without God we cannot, Without us God cannot"...I'm sure you've all heard of tht quote, apparently it's been around fr a while. But once i was confronted with that statement...I was like, the second part doesn't make sense. Cuse without Us...God CAN, of course.

(this quote was apparently taken from a Saint by the name of Saint Augustine)

But then i realized that there was some kinda reason behind it. It was like a dependent system. If we depended of God....who does God depend on? Well, of course, God's independent. But some ppl just think that every "thing" needs to depend on something in order to live...so they reached the conclusion that since We depend on God....God must have to depend on us too. To exist of course. I guess in a way...if we didn't exist, God wouldn't have existed...since there would need to be "someone" to create us. But we all know...in the Bible, it isn't true...

I guess if we weren't even here...we wouldn't even know about it. But God would always exist

I realli don't know wut the point of this blog is...but i was challenged with this a while ago. So i gave it a thought lol. I'm sure we've all thought about it sometime b4...

Philosophy and religion are two very interesting subjects that can lead to VERy interesting discussions, with VERY interesting debates...

Maybe I should've tried taking that course...but most people say i would die in that course judging by the way I am.

Jesus brought light to the world...but the world did not receive it

To God...there is no such thing as "darkness"...there's only such thing as "no light", because God IS the LIGHT...of the world. And it only depends on the world...if they want to receive it or not. Places that are dark, are only "dark" because it lacks the presence of light.

So one day...actually it was today, I decided to look outside my window from my house during night time. I had the lights on in the inside of course. Nd wut did i see?...u answered correctly, nothing (excluding the moon and the stars). I saw nothing...but darkness, during the night time. From the outside, ppl in the dark could probably be able to spot me no problem. But if u looked at it the other way around...it would be nearly impossible to find anyone who would be hiding in the dark at this moment (nd tht's when i got scared, well not realli, but it's always kinda freaky how ppl can see u, but u can't see them. Like....wut if there were snipers around, I would be target practice! well, not even, cuse im askin fr it...srry realli random). BUT I started thinking...if only the light inside our house were bright enough, to light up everything else outside! there wouldn't be darkness anemore...nd it would depend how bright that light is.

Similarly, that small light in our house, only bright enough to light up the places inside, is just like OUR LIGHT for God. It symbolizes our burning passion and fire to serve HIM and make HIM known to the world. The darkness represents the ppl and places who do not know God, and is not within his light. If there were more shining, bright lights for God, then more areas of the world would be lit up. How bright do we shine for God (quanlity)...nd how many lights are shining for him (quantity)?? Do we live a life that causes our light to shine on other ppl?

the ppl in darkness (outside) can see the ppl in light (inside), but ppl in light can't see ppl in darkness. Nd i thought...it's kinda true. Ppl who do things in the dark (usually sinful things), try to hide it...nd can't be seen. But ppl in the light have nothing that can't be seen.

God's light is bright enough to light up the whole world.

i gotta say....tht's a pretty sick analogy..i dun think i ever came up with one b4...

BLOG #10: Props to those who read the whole thing..

Today....I did devos with my mom...for the first time, after a while. We decided to go through the 4 books of the gospel (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John), and then we had a longgg discussion bout certain parts of the passages (for details, read to the bottom). Afterwards, we prayed together, specifically for our Dad at Aruba...that he would just continue to work as a humble servant for God. It wus just a good sight, to see my Dad so happy with children...other than me (mebbe not lol). This experience...is definitely a life-changing experience for him, i can just see it=)

Anewayz, bac to quality time with my mom...so afterwards, we went out for lunch together, nd then had a game of table-tennis (clearly, we all know the end result of tht match..). After that, we got hungry again....and went to TNT. It felt jus like a date...except it was with my mom. Cuse we got to know each other better on another level. I rarely got to spend time like this...with either one of my parents. Nd i guess i sorta took advantage of this time...since my Dad wasn't here. Normally, this would be called "wasting time"... my Dad would say.

So the discussion I had with my mom:

Was from John 21:15 (jus one of the main discussion topics)

This passage talks about how Peter had denied Jesus 3 times, and Jesus was asking him again if Peter really loved Him (this happened after Jesus had resurrected from the dead). Then Jesus said:
"...when you were younger, you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go."

(not too sure wut this passage meant, I'm bad with analogies)

But when Jesus said this, He was indicating that Peter was going to die for him....later on in the future, in the act of glorifying God.
So at this point I thought...How could Jesus just 'predict' that Peter would die for Him in the future (not questioning God's power...cuse He's all-knowing)? And why did he predict tht...wus it because Peter denied Jesus, nd this wus to make up fr it? I thought that at first...but afterwards, maybe Peter was just renewed after he would receive the holy spirit, and be the strongest man of God. Cuse later on...Peter too, died on the cross (except upside down)...for the sake of God/Jesus.
After this thought, the discussion kinda got off-topic (as always, cuse some body has to bring it off..nd it'z usually me). So suddenly, I started asking: "Is it even possible for any "thing" to be all-knowing??" If u think of it...tht would be kinda crazy, as in how can u imagine someone being all knowing? If u know all...y is there a 'now'? a present? when u can jus jump to the future. y is there a purpose, a point in life? why does God have to work through us....if in the end, He already knows. If He already knows who will follow Him, and who will not...why bother?

K i understand he wants us to have a free choice...but He alreadi KNOWs wut that choice is! am i rite?....so again, wut's the point.

Now im jus pasting the notes i jot down (some things may be repeated, actually i take tht back, everythin might be repeated):

- If God knew all, why is He letting stuff happen. If HE knows future results, why is there a "now". Y is God even "active"...always tryina change things..when it'z all the same in the end.
- Why is there even a purpose, a point in doing what HE does, working in our lives, when He knows end results.
- What's the wonder/joy/interest/fun/excitement of sumthin...when you already know the end of the story.
- In everything you do, you never know what to expect...and that's what keeps you interested in life, that anticipation...if u already knew everything tht is to happen...life must suck.
- God knew that He was creating an angel, that would eventually try to overthrow HIM..why?
- God knew...that He was creating a world, that would eventually become sinful...why?
- God also has human emotions (such as anger, jealousy, love), why'd he create 'stuff' tht would anger HIM.
- It's impossible for someone to be all-knowing...everything would be insane! I wouldn't wanna be all knowing

(these thoughts seemed more organized...when i discussed it verbally)

so the conclusion i jumped to: "Is God really all-knowing? and if He's not all-knowing...then HE can't be all-powerful?

i realize that all these questions revolve around the same thing...so if u could prob answer one of them, u could prob answer the rest. Some questions are pointless...literally, they don't have a "point". Or tht point goes round nd round...forever. But many ppl like asking pointless questions.

Everytime I ask these kinda questions...my parents always go: "You always ask...but u never seek the answer." actually tht's only one of my parents.
The other parent would go: "Don't ask these mo liu questions...u should think like tht when u do physics questions instead." (kinda obvious who..lol)

Sometimes when i ask these questions...I feel like I'm challenging christianity to whole other level. But I honestly hope...I can ask all these questions b4 these questions are asked to me lol. I am challenged day to day...about my faith, and sometimes I'm up for it...sometimes I'm not.

But i figured, I could keep questioning & questioning about things I'd probably never find the answers to. But GOD is someone we can't all understand, in fact no "one" can understand except for HIm. We are but..."beings" that God created. Tht's why...we leave that stuff to God...He'll take care of it...our job, is jus not to worry so much bout it.

So the message u guys wanna take home is: GOD is "someone" you can always find out more about...guaranteed.

P.S. I'm gonna apologize in advance for such ignorant questions...

Short-term Missioning

My dad just sent me pics from Aruba....seems like he's having fun, sharing God's word with ppl, I told him he wouldn't regret it...im glad he's more focused on the short term mission itself now, instead of worrying about how much the home is gonna be messed up without him.

Instead of sending me physics questions online in emails now (yes, my dad sends me hw online -_-)....He sent greetings, and pictures of the events they had gone through each day. It was just a happy sight, that his burning desire to serve the Lord had increased through out this experience. During Good Friday service...it was great to see the church of Aruba joining together in worship. Remembering Jesus' death, and celebrating God's glory and resurrection.

It was a humbling experience...

Don't ever Lose that wonder....

Easter's coming up...don't really know what to expect. But sometime during today...I felt really guilty, because i realized that for the longest time...through my daily life...I had forgotten what God had done for me. What He sent Jesus His son...to do for me, to do for this whole world. If I always kept that in mind...I wouldn't take my sins so carelessly. When Jesus died on the cross for our sins, He was nailed, stoned, and mocked by everyone around Him. So everytime I sin, I picture myself as one of those ppl there...who took part in causing Jesus' suffering. Cause if i lived each life, knowing this in everything i do and in everywhere i go. I would know...how much this sin would hurt Jesus; after what He did for me. It's jus like...He offered Himself up there, to save us, but we make his pain even more unbearable while we're at it. We were suppose to be in His place...and He took it for us. Least we can do, is not give Him more burdens & suffering.

Just something I reflected on this weekend...

Side: MY Dad will be going to Aruba for a short-term mission (for 3 weeks), please pray for safety and God's Holy Spirit to speak through him. Thnx!

From Blogging....to song writing??

So i was reading the book of psalms lately....nd David (the song/poem writer) writes a LOT of chapters jus describing his relationship with God. Nd after a few chapters....I'm like, He' s not sayin anything different from the previous chpt. All his songs are Soo repetitive, so i kinda stopped afterwards (started another book). And at some points, it feels like his songs are more of complaints and "whining" to God (although there is also praise, and glorification). But that's how much time he spent with God. U no...similarly, it's like blogging lol, we jot down all the thoughts from the top of our head and express it through a blog post. It's almost the same thing. David wrote down (or blogged) every thought & feeling on his mind, and expressed it through a song to God. Most of them revolved around the glory of God, and the All Power & Mightiness of God. In the present, instead of writing out thoughts down in poems/songs, we blog. srry....if tht was a bad comparison.

Sooo....blogging strengthens your relationship with God! Good!....not Bad! for some reason, my parents discourage me from it=(. The only reason i rmb is, "do you realli have time for tht??"

side: School has been such a barrier lately. It's hard to display that same...."attitude" at school, as opposed to church. Ppl at school...who don't really know God yet....are jus totally different. No one's there for you....like at church. Ppl don't really care...but that's when it is my job to "give" back to them...even though I don't exactly "receive". I think ppl jus need to experience that "love" that God has for us....nd tht's what changes a person. Didomi has given me so much....I should take it...and spread it out to as many ppl as possible....so that they too, will see how God works in the lives of a christian.

Skool is the site of most distractions...prevents me from living an "everyday" christian life. So sometimes, I even go as far as feeling like a Sunday christian.