(actually, these are all small entries nd thoughts that i decided to combine into ONE big post)
Journal Entry 1:
As all of you know...I've had experiences with doubt...
"i think i've finally found my source of doubt....which is...how can God create someone as stupid as me?? I'm always so unorganized, don't know wut im ever doing. I asked for wisdom, and i didn't get it. Wut reason wud God have, NOT to answer tht. It's a totally appropriate request that i asked of. Tht's y i doubt, if there is a God. A God that answers prayers. Cuse if He really is the God I've learned about fr my whole life...I should totally, feel His presence.
But God's love through every brother & sister in Christ that I've met so far...has been full proof itself that God exists. He works...constantly, everyday...tht's for sure. What greater love can come...from any else.
Journal Entry 2:
"Say it if it's genuine...don't say it, if it's not. (reminder to myself)"
Journal Entry 3:
"In the Bible, When God curses, He curses a whole lot of other ppl other than the man who had commited wrong. The man's relatives and descendants also get punished along with Him. Wut'd they ever do to deserve tht...is tht fair? Wut if those descendents never got a chance..."
Journal Entry 4:
"I always think...wut Honors God? Cuse the tiniest, littlest things...can upset Him. "
Journal Entry 5:
"I was once asked: Is God perfect? Does God have a perfect face...? Is He perfectly baddd?
#1: "According to biology/evolution, the world dated back 4.6 billion years ago. According to the Bible, it only dates back to a few thousand years (7000 - ?000 yrs ago). Nd wut about carbon dating? Nothing makes sense in the Bible if u really look at it."
Friend 1: "There needs to be a battle between the Pope, and the smartest physicist in this world".
me thinking in my head: "It doesn't wrk tht way..."
You can't prove there's a God...if so, everyone wud've believed already. Nd tht wouldn't be called "believing"...cuse u see. It's a fact.
If Jesus is God. nd God is Jesus. How can Jesus be the son of God. Simple questions like tht...i can't even answer.
I have a tendency to create a stereotypical view of christians tht somehow turn ppl against it. I think it's the way I bring it up...sometimes, it's a bit random. To the extent that ppl become uncomfortable, nd claim "I'm converting them".
Journal Entry 6:
"Ways to improve CGOs
- don't watch movies! (cuse there's not much bonding & communication whatsoever)
- plan ahead, So we know wut we're doing ahead of time, nd tht we'll have backup, if anything
- don't go out so much (translates to spending money too much)
- Make sure quality time is spend with cell group members...nd not something else.
- Don't have secular activities in a non-secular place (such as church)"
my dad had a talk with me about this. Some things I agree...some I don't.
Journal Entry 7:
"I.N.V.U (I en-vy you)"
jks, no i don't. Love does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
Journal Entry 8:
(removed)
Journal Entry 9:
"I'm afraid..tht I won't know how to express...wut i'm afraid of. I gotta write a testimony.
had many struggles...one being **** (pleasures)...one being self-consciousness...one being skool.
Was never comfortable really sharing with big groups, and big audience, but cecilia asked me...and i can't back down now."
Journal Entry 10:
"lol...i think i spend too much time on blogger jus reading...nd commenting. "
Journal Entry 11:
"Nothin else better…than starting the day with…a FAMILY devos. We debate over things a lot, and often we end up in arguments...but tht’s wut we do, in Bible studies.
At times, I find it soo hard to get along with my parents. But during devos, I really get to know them better personally on a spiritual level."
Journal Entry 12:
"Philosophy and religion are two very interesting subjects that can lead to VERy interesting discussions, with VERY interesting debates...
Maybe I should've tried taking that course...but most people say i would get owned in that course cuse of Mr. Mullen."
Journal Entry 13:
I blog about a lot of stuff....but do i live it out? (rhetorical)
...all i can say is...i try.
Journal Entry 14:
For family cell group, wouldn't it be great to have a cell group...within a cell group! (jus like what we did last time). Instead of all of us...jus coming cuse our parents come, We can have our own fellowship too! Get too know each other...and REALLI feel like a family. We should organize our own programs...doesn't have to be anything big. It can be as much as jus chilling...like last time=)
-------------------------------------*End*--------------------------------------
All these things...were "drafts" I originally was uncomfortable posting. They jus kept accumulating.
well...i guess you learned a lot about me. If u've read all the way to the bottom...guess it's another side of me u've been introduced to. The side i don't often like to share. kinda prepared tht sum ppl are gonna judge...but yea. Guess I'm transparent now to most u guys...but i long to be even more transparent b4 God. Wish i could learn to lift everything up to Him more often. I can positively say, I can't ever rmb every single thing i wanna say to God, every single prayer request or praise item i wanna life up to Him. But wut i think is...jotting down & journalizing as a reminder wrks.
pheww...tht wus a lot...wusn't expecting tht much tht i had...i DID copy & paste.
(Oh, nd I realize a lot of this is really blunt...so im srry, these are my most HONEST thoughts. It's not too often tht u might get them. I would call these...true words; tht most ppl find it hard to say. )
No comments:
Post a Comment