I wanna have more inside jokes, more interesting things to talk about...I wanna be...a humourous guy. In other words, a guy...with humor, a guy that's not mean, 'strict' (in ways?), and unpleasant to get along with.
but I obviously don't want to be those who try too hard to funny. All I want...is to be myself. Because I know I'm funny. I know I'm interesting. I know I'm capable! I just hafta be...myself I guess. So that's the challenge. Being myself is the hardest thing I've ever tried to do, and am still trying to do.
My challenge isn't trying be someone else, but trying to be myself. I hate...when I'm someone else. Because, I'm just NOT someone else! I'm clearly...ME! How stupid can someone be...to try to be someone else...haiz.
It's hard man...it's hard. I never thought I would face this (well ofc i wouldn't, back then i was innocent, i had knowleddge of something like this). But here I am, being the most self-conscious, self-evlautatoing, self-conceptual person in the world. Why am I like this? When did I turn like this?...Who did this to me??...clearly myself, who else.
I feel like I'm the person in control, but not really. I know what to do, but i don't do it. I have a solution, but i don't use it. I totally know I can stop something, but i don't do it. I see how everything works in my brain...but knowing all this 'useful' information...is NOT USEFUL! It does NOT help...
2 comments:
If its a challenge for you to be yourself, you're not actually being yourself because being yourself should come naturally.
yea, i suck at being natural. Like, yea, i know, it doesn't make sense. Being yourself should come naturally.
But it's not natural if I'm constantly telling myself to be natural.
By being myself...I need to be natural right. But when I wanna be natural...I'm THINKING about 'being natural' right? And when you think about something purposely...how would that be being natural? correct?
Being natural just comes...you don't even know it does. You're not suppose to.
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