BFF, is that what I'm looking for? not sure. Someone I could share with and grow with for sure though.
There's really not much to say, when I see the friends around me now. Sometimes, I gotta force something out to say; but I've learned not to. That I don't have to.
I'm sure it is also my fault. The way I am.
--//When I mentioned before..."Friends that I wouldn't see in a while, but be happy (if not jumping for joy) to see me again."
It's probably because I don't make the same effort either. But again, I'm always tired of making the move first...it's always me. I just stopped after a while.
It's different if they're newcomers (to church), that, i would gladly welcome them whole-heartedly because: 1) I can't stand newcomers who know NOBODY in church who are not very clued in, not very welcomed, and have no one to talk to. I just can't stand to see people like that, makes me uncomfortable. 2) It feels great welcoming them, RIGHT after i do it. I even tell myself "That felt great! making someone feel like they're part of our church".
I'm sorry I had to complain and sulk here, cuse i wouldn't do it anywhere else. After all, it's really not about us (or me for that matter), it's pretty selfish to think that way. Cuse i know what the right thing to do is. But what goes through my mind, is what goes through my mind.
3 comments:
perhaps that description of "close"-ness that you desire is not meant to occur in your relationships. (not to be a pessimist... sorry.)
i've felt similarly. i've seen some of my other friends being really close with their BFFs and stuff, and i've wondered why I didn't have one... I want a person to share and grow with through the years as friends as well.
but on the other hand, perhaps I was not made this way. upon reflection, i see that perhaps it is richer for me to encourage many others, than to spend so much time focussed on only one "close" friend.
Looking at these relationships broader, I guess I see that I don't necessarily need a "close" friend to share and grow up with. I have many friends that I consider to be very good friends, and none to be a BFF or best friend etc. etc. In some ways, I am glad that that is so.
We don't need to go searching out for a "close" friend. I believe God blesses certain people with them, because of circumstances in their own lives. And though God has not blessed me with one, I can see God's blessings in other areas of my life. So that in the end, all I can do is to give praise.
God made you, YOU. And He knows and provides when you require something. I've learned that with friends and relationships, don't go searching for the "ideal", because the "ideal" might not be what God has planned for you. The "ideal" can also sometimes be a reflection of the world's values. God knows, God cares, God is good, and He is shaping you in the way He wants, not in the way we want.
You are...BRILLIANT Jon!
I don't know how you did it, but you never really fail...to understand. Perhaps, you HAVE gone through the same thing, exactly. One thing about me is (well probably applies to everyone), I get overly happy when people understand me, or understand where I'm coming from.
I do not think I'm made that way either. I'm not social at all...if not socially awkward (or my definition of it).
Amen to THAT Jon!
your words somehow just always makes me feel better lol :)
You always provide me a better way to look at things.=D
I will TOTALLY keep that in mind Jon! Thanks! Praise God, for revealing this to me...wow, i actually feel a lot better.
I always thought there was something wrong with me...or sumthin. That i couldn't be like every one else. I didn't exactly "fit in"...or really get to know these people very well. I used to think, that i lacked the ability to "get to know ppl". haha.
But it's all cool Jon, it's all cool. I take that to heart.
I wanna be "an encourager to many others", which that is what I am!
no offense conan, but perhaps if you do wish to have such close friendships it's better to invest your time to try and understand how people form and maintain these relationships rather than wondering why you don't have one.
I think it's quite lazy to believe that god will give you whatever he planed and you should just be happy with that. If you want something quit the self pity and do something proactive.
Contrary to what seems to be popular belief, being selfish doesn't make you less of a person, but more. Having desires and dreams, setting goals for yourself to achieve, striving to be the best you can be are all "selfish" but really is that bad? and i don't mean to bash or anything just offering my insight and some advice.
goodluck~
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