Wut the heckkk...

felt a lil discouraged today...cuse the ppl who i was originally encouraged by because of their "yearning heart" for a need to come to church, really came for the "wrong" reason the whole time. Like today, i saw that...they didn't realli wanna come to fellowship at all. They jus wanted to come fr wut i originally sorta "conditioned" them to come for. Which is to play badminton, or break dance lol. But they'll still be comin...like one of their comments were "There's gonna be 20 min of badminton, and THREE hours of fellowship time!"

another comment was... "yeaaa, i'll stay for badminton....nd then i'll leave fr fellowship" (Inside I go: "THen why the heck am i bringing u here forr??")

And ppl are starting to take advantage of me through this...by seeing that im a bit vulnerable in this area; they threaten me not to come to church unless i did sumthin for themm....nd im like, wut the heckk. (Even tho i still did it...but it wasn't to demonstrate that they had control over me that way; but i jus would have done it anewayz).

Someone also asked: "Are u SURE non-christians are allowed in church?" (nd I'm like battling inside on how to react, cuse i really didn't know wut to think....i wus frustrated, and in disbelief at the same time). Like i jus don't think they know the whole purpose of y i do wut i do...like, THAT IS our job (altho they may not know), it's wut God calls us to do. I dunno mann..

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But it's weird, non-christians think they're not welcomed for some reason. jus cuse they are NON-christians, and that church is only a place "where christians gather". yeaaa, dun no wut the source of tht is...

Despite all this tho, as a christian, i don't think i should have this kinda mindset...i should continue to try my best, nd i guess pray about it. Cuse this stuff doesn't just come so instant...nd easy. Can't stop encouraging...tht something i CAN NOT lose.


















♫ Lean on me, when you're not strong ♫

♪ cuse i wanna be your friend, ♫ ♪

i wanna help you...carry on. woaaahh ♪ ♫

(...great song...)